Grief as a Pathway to Growth

Dear Echo Breaker,

Many survivors are surprised to discover grief is part of healing from narcissistic abuse. Why am I grieving someone who hurt me?, they ask. The answer: you’re not just grieving the person — you’re grieving the dream, the illusion, the lost years, the version of yourself who endured.

Grief feels complicated because it holds contradictions. You may feel sadness and anger at the same time. You may miss the person while knowing they harmed you. You may cry for the relationship you thought you had, even as you feel relief that it’s over.

This grief is sacred. It is proof of your humanity. It is not a weakness. It is your heart processing the weight of betrayal and loss.

Give yourself permission to grieve. Cry without judgment. Journal letters you’ll never send. Speak aloud the “what could have beens.” These rituals don’t tether you to the past — they release it.

And here’s the paradox: grief opens the door to growth. On the other side of sorrow is space. Space for peace, space for joy, space for safe love. You cannot rush grief, but you can walk with it. With each step, you’re moving toward wholeness.

Grief isn’t the end of your story. It’s the soil where growth takes root.

If this resonated, you’re not alone — reach out to explore coaching with me.

Dr. James