Safe People, Safe Places

Dear Echo Breaker,

One of the hardest parts of recovery is learning how to trust again — not blindly, not recklessly, but wisely. After narcissistic abuse, you may feel like everyone is unsafe, or like you’re destined to be hurt again. The truth is: not everyone is safe, but not everyone is unsafe either.

So how do you tell the difference?

Safe people are consistent. They keep their word and show up when they say they will. Safe people listen to your feelings without dismissing them or turning the spotlight back on themselves. Safe people respect your boundaries without trying to test or break them. They don’t punish you for saying no.

Unsafe people, on the other hand, often push, guilt, manipulate, or withdraw when you hold limits. Recognizing this contrast is a key step in building your healing circle.

Safe places matter too. A safe place can be physical — a cozy corner where you journal, a coffee shop where you breathe, a friend’s house where you always feel welcome. Safe places can also be internal — grounding practices, spiritual rituals, or meditation that remind your nervous system it is okay to rest.

Healing doesn’t require dozens of people or endless places. It requires a handful of safe connections that feel like shelter. Even if you only have one right now — or none — you are still capable of creating safety within yourself while you build safety outside.

🌱 Healing isn’t about trusting everyone again. It’s about learning to recognize and receive the gift of safety when it’s truly there.

If this resonated, you’re not alone — reach out to explore coaching with me.

Dr. James