Trusting Yourself Again

Dear Echo Breaker,

One of the deepest wounds of narcissistic abuse is the way it steals your self-trust. Gaslighting makes you question your memory. Manipulation makes you doubt your instincts. Constant invalidation leaves you asking: Am I the problem? Did I imagine it?

I want you to hear this clearly: You didn’t imagine it. You weren’t the problem. You saw what you saw, you felt what you felt — and you were right to notice it.

But I also know that rebuilding that inner trust feels like climbing a mountain. It doesn’t happen overnight. The good news? It happens one small step at a time.

Start with micro-trust. When you get a gut feeling, pause. Don’t dismiss it. Ask yourself: What might my body be telling me? If you feel tension in your chest when someone talks, honor that cue. If something feels “off,” believe that feeling, even if you don’t act on it yet.

Keep a self-trust journal. Each time your instincts say something, jot it down. Later, reflect: what happened? Did your instinct prove true? Over weeks and months, you’ll see the evidence: your body has been whispering the truth all along.

Also, notice small follow-throughs with yourself. Did you say you’d rest tonight and then actually rest? That’s trust. Did you tell yourself you’d stop answering that late-night text, and you didn’t answer? That’s trust. Each promise kept to yourself is another brick in rebuilding the foundation.

And here’s the beauty: when you learn to trust yourself again, you don’t fear whether you can trust others as much. Because no matter what they do, you know you can rely on you.

If this resonated, you’re not alone — reach out to explore coaching with me.

Dr. James